SELF HARM RESOURCES
A site devoted to providing information and resources about self-harm.
*This site is not intended to provide medical, psychological or legal advice, but simply to provide links to resources for coping with self-harm issues.
Challenging Irrational Thoughts
Struggling with self-harm tends to come along with struggles regarding cognitive distortions and irrational thoughts. These thoughts can be REALLY hard to change! Talking with a therapist can be an invaluable resource, but it also helps to begin thinking about and challenging some of these thoughts on your own. Whether or not you are currently seeing a therapist, you may find challenging your thoughts a difficult but important step in your recovery.
What are cognitive distortions?
In simplest terms, cognitive distortions are ways that our minds convince us that something that isn't true really is. These are when our emotions lead us to believe things that are not completely based in reality.
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http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions/0002153
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http://www.apsu.edu/sites/apsu.edu/files/counseling/COGNITIVE_0.pdf (a few pages of PDF about distortions you can print off. Gives examples and includes a page of ideas for challenging these thoughts)
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http://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/cognitive-distortions/cbt/none (brief list of distortions you can print off)
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http://www.cognitivetherapyguide.org/negative-thinking-patterns.htm (describes common cognitive distortions)
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http://annkoplow.com/2013/02/10/handout-on-cognitive-distortions/ (lists and describes cognitive distortions)
How to Challenge a Distorted Thought:
(Based on, and in a few places quoted directly from, David Burns' The Feeling Good Handbook.)
FIRST: Look at the thought in question and ask if it might be a distorted thought. Look at the list of cognitive distortions. Which type of distortion is it?
THEN try one (or more) of these ways to challenge/re-evaluate the thought.
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Ask yourself: What is the evidence of this thought? Is there anything that might disprove or disagree with this belief? Ex: "I always mess up" Is that true? What are some things I've messed up? What are some things I haven't messed up?
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Would I say this to a friend? What would I say if [my specific friend] was similar to me and did or experienced something like this?
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This thought feels true, but is there any way I test it to find out?
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Remind yourself things are normally not either-or, but exist on a spectrum. "Remind yourself that things are usually somewhere between 0 and 100 percent. Instead of insisting you are perfect and never screw up or condemning yourself as a rotten person and giving up, acknowledge a mistake, forgive yourself, and move forward with your life."
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Think about other people you know. Would they agree that this thought is valid? You could even ask other people if they agree this thought or feeling is realistic.
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Look at the words you are using, ask yourself what those words mean? What do you mean by: "stupid", "bad", "failure", etc...
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Change your wording. If you said you "should", change it to "it would be nice..." or "it would be preferable"...
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What else might've attributed to this problem? Re-focus yourself on solving the problem instead of blaming yourself or someone else.
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Consider the pros and cons of this thought. How does believing this help me? How does believing this hurt me?
After you've challenged this thought, you might want to consider:
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Is this a thought/belief that I have often?
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Do I have other common thoughts/beliefs that are very similar to this one?
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How might I continue to challenge this thought in the future? For example, you might try writing a healthier belief and putting it in their wallet, on their wall, or on a flash card. Or put write out or memorize a quote or saying that illustrates healthier way of thinking about this.
Worksheets:
Some CBT worksheets here about challenging an irrational thought. They are part of a 7step CBT course available free online here in pdf worksheet form.
This page walks you through how to find, label, examine, and challenge a distorted thought. Includes PDFs you can print, particularly this thought record sheet.
Useful PDFs available here. Scroll down the page to "Cognitive Distortions."
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The link "Cognitive therapy techniques to change your thoughts" opens to David Burns' description of how to challenge distorted thoughts.
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The Daily Record is a worksheet to record automatic thoughts, their effects, what distortion they are, and what you can replace them with.
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The Verticle Arrow is a worksheet designed to help you find your silent assumptions. This sheet hopes to help you find out the root anxiety/concern behind an automatic thought.
Another idea of how you can catch these automatic/irrational thoughts as they occur and then stop to evaluate them.
Another worksheet to identify and change irrational thoughts (the "ABC Worksheet"). Different layout and slightly different content.
http://spruceapp.net/#/ helps you work through your thoughts as well by asking about the situation, your emotions, your actions, and your chocies. It asks for email though, but sends no notifications and does not give it out. The site allows you to see what you've written in the past.