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Riding the Wave

 

A woman describes her understanding and use of the "Riding the Wave" DBT idea, and how that plays out for her in real-life situations, and how she uses this idea alongside other coping skills.  http://marcimentalhealthmore.com/2012/04/03/dbt-tuesday-urge-surfing/

 

This page introduces the 15 Minute Game and Riding the Wave.

 

Remind yourself:

"No emotion lasts forever.  I feel really bad right now, but it will pass.  This feeling will lessen in a while."

 

Part of Riding the Wave of your emotions is to give yourself time.

 

15 minute game.  

Here's how it works:

  • You feel like hurting yourself.

  • You tell yourself, "I am going to wait 15 minutes [or 3, or 5, or 30... your choice] and then when the time is up, I will decide what to do."

  • You wait 15 minutes without harming yourself.

  • When the 15 minutes are up, you ask yourself: Do I still want to hurt myself?  If so, you ask: do I need to harm myself now, or can I wait another 15 minutes?

  • If possible, try to wait another 15 minutes and then re-evaluate.  

 

Tips:

1.)  Remind yourself each time that you get another chance to choose whether you need to hurt yourself, or whether you'd like to wait at the end of every 15 minute segment.  Just because you played it 7 times in a row doesn't mean you don't still get the same choices the 8th time.  

Knowing self-harm is still an option if you need it can help reduce anxiety and allow you to wait longer and longer before harming.  Or, sometimes you will manage to wait so long that the emotions are no longer so strong you have to hurt yourself.  In those cases, you manage to find alternative ways of coping.

 

2.) While you are waiting those 15 minutes, think about what other skills you can use.  In those 15 minutes you might: journal, go for a walk, take some deep breaths, fill out a CBT thought record sheet, talk to a friend, talk to someone online, watch a funny youtube clip...  

 

3.) Congratulate yourself if you manage to not harm at all.  Congratulate yourself if you manage to wait 15 minutes before harming.  Congratulate yourself for attempting to wait at all.  EVERY STEP YOU TAKE TO REDUCE/STOP SELF-HARM IS IMPORTANT!!!!!   Just because you end up harming sometimes, does NOT mean all the effort and energy you put into trying to use other coping skills doesn't matter or was useless.  Every minute you manage to wait before you harm increases the likelihood that next time you might be able to wait a bit longer, and then a bit longer.  Even the simple decision of trying to wait is important.

 

 

This might be a fun site to help you do nothing for two minutes.  It has soothing sounds. However, if you move your mouse or hit a key it flashes FAIL in bright red letters on the screen, which may be triggering when you're already so on edge.  You might try this ahead of time, before you are upset, to see how it works for you.

 

 

Suggestions?

Questions?

Contact HERE

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