SELF HARM RESOURCES

Identifying why you harm and your triggers. 

 

Triggers are things that cause something to happen.  In the context of self-harm, a trigger is something that causes you to engage in self-harming behaviors.  It is often also used in a looser context to mean something that provokes feelings of great distress and can make you feel strongly like you want/need to engage in self-harm, but you don't necessarily go through with the behavior.

 

Identifying the reasons that you harm and the things that trigger you to harm yourself is a CRITICAL part of recovery.  When you can point out why the behavior occurred, you can then begin to work on addressing the root problem.  Remember, self-harm is a symptom, not the problem itself.  Trying to stop harming by only stopping the physical behavior is like trying to 

 

Expressing Yourself

Privately

The most common way of practicing self-expression is to begin to keep a journal.  This can take many forms, and is entirely up to you how you want to use it!  There really is no "wrong" way of journaling.  

You might:

• write a bit each day, reflecting on what has taken place in a list-like fashion

• write out specific events in detail

• jot down thoughts, quotes, or ideas in a sporadic fashion

• use a formatted style where you answer set questions daily like: rating your emotions, how triggered you were, coping skills you used, and whether or not you acted on a behavior you want to reduce/stop (like self-harm)

• use it only when you are/were recently distressed and wanted to or did self-harm.

 

In addition to (or instead of) journaling, you might also find other forms of creative self-expression useful to you.  You might: draw, doodle, paint, sculpt, write poems, write fiction, write songs, compose tunes, dance...  It really just depends on what you find comfortable and useful to you.

 

With Others.

You might talk to a: friend, family member, counselor, person online through email.  Or you might talk more generally to people via a blog, vlog, or other semi-public method.  To make it easier to reflect on what's come up in your discussions - ideas and views you or others have had - you may want to cope & paste the communications into a document you can save or print out, or after a talk with someone, you might jot down the main points and interesting/striking ideas that arose, or journal briefly about what happened in the conversation and what you think about it.

 

Reflecting

It helps to reflect on several events at a time, as well as individual instances.  To reflect on a specific instance of self-harm, you may want to use a Behavioral Chain Analysis to help you break it down into specific causes, thoughts, emotions... and then think about what specific ways you might've changed the run of events, and how you might change things in the future.

 

But to see patterns and themes in your thoughts and feelings, it's important to set aside time every once in a while to reflect upon what you've recorded and/or discussed.  Looking back at what you've expressed, ask yourself:

• What specific thoughts did I have before, during, and after the times I harmed?

• What bodily feelings/sensations did I experience before, during, and after the times I harmed?

• What emotions did I experience before, during, and after the times I harmed?  For this, it may help to reference a list of emotions.

• What external events took place before I harmed myself?  Think about the environment and other people.

• What specific thoughts come up often for me and make me feel distressed?

 

Isolating reasons why you harm

To start pinpointing reasons you engage in self-harming behaviors, look at the things you were feeling and thinking before you harmed.  These are the reasons you start wanting to hurt yourself.  Then, look at the things you thought and felt during and immediately after you harmed yourself.  The positive emotions/thoughts you had are the reasons self-harm has become a coping method for you.  It serves a purpose, although the negative consequences of this coping mechanism can often outweigh its benefits.  Still, there is a reason you harm yourself.

 

Isolating triggers

To begin discovering your triggers, look at what events took place before you harmed yourself.  Why were these events distressing?  Look at the feelings and thoughts you experienced after these events took place.  Are there similar events/situations that also create these emotions/thoughts?  This can be a good place to start understanding what your triggers are.  This list will likely grow and shrink over time as you realize more and more things that prompt distress, find more ways to cope with and prevent high levels of distress, and go through the up-and-downs of life.

 

Each time you find a trigger you get a chance to do some prevention.  Is this something you can prevent from happening in the future?  Is this something you can lessen in the future?  Is this something you can prepare for?  If it happens again, how can you address the thoughts and feelings it brings up before they get to an overwhelming level of distress? 

 

How long does it take to have this all figured out?

While it's certain that you can reach a point where you are more-or-less aware of all your reasons and triggers, it is typically useful to continue to think about why you harm and be on the look out for triggers ... forever!  This is just one (rather specific) way to practice self-reflection and being aware of your thoughts and emotions, and the thoughts and emotions they cause.