SELF HARM RESOURCES

Short-Term Goals

 

Reducing/stopping self-harm can be incredibly challenging, especially at the start.  When you find yourself triggered, sometimes all your goals and self-promises seem to fly out the window and you think recovery "doesn't matter", it's "pointless", "nothing else ever works".... there are so many reasons that recovery is hard!!  So, what can we do to make it easier for us to stick to stopping?  Here are some ideas.  As always, it can take trial-and-error to find what works for you.  It may take a combination of several of these ideas, or something else all your own.  But, perhaps, these ideas may help to get you started.

 

The Butterfly Project:

1. when you feel like you want to cut, take a marker or pen and draw a butterfly wherever the self-harm occurs. 
2. name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better. 
3. NO scrubbing the butterfly off.
4. if you cut before the butterfly is gone, it dies. if you don't cut, it lives.
5. another person may draw them on you. these butterflies are extra special. take good care of them.
 

Despite it's popularity, the Butterfly Project does not work for everyone.  One of the main problems people discuss is the way the idea of the butterfly "dying" increases and reinforces feelings of shame and thoughts of being a failure.  Here are some ways that others have altered this idea to better suit them personally:

• When you decide you would like to recover or reduce self-harm, draw or write on your body (often the area you injure, but it can be anywhere).  Make it a goal to not harm until it has worn/washed off.  In this way the Butterfly acts similarly to the 15 Minutes Game where you still have the option of harming once the Butterfly is gone, but you try to wait and postpone any decision to harm until that time.

• When you feel like harming, you write or draw on yourself instead as a distraction.  Some people find it helpful to vent their feelings and write negative things on their body.  If you do that, it can be helpful to later, when you are more calm, go back and write kind things over it, or go back and correct the cognitive distortions by replacing it with more accurate, less emotional statements.  Other people write kind things or draw pretty doodles on their body when they are triggered to comfort and/or distract themselves.

 

The 15 Minute Game

When you have the desire to harm yourself, you set yourself a tiny goal: "I won't harm for at least 15 minutes" and then after the 15 minutes have passed, you re-evaluate and decide again whether you want to harm or continue to postpone it. (More information Here)

 

Other Short-Term Goal ideas:

Consider where you are recovery wise.  How long have you gone without harming before?  How long have you gone without/between harming recently?  What is a realistic first/next goal for you?  A day?  A week?  Two weeks?  A month?  

 

When you have decided how long you want to try to go without harming, consider how you might want to track your progress.  You might:

• write on a calendar

• make note in a journal

• design a special chart to mark each day you don't harm

• use an online goal tracker 

 

And, decide how you want to celebrate reaching your goal!  It can help to have something to look forward to.  It doesn't have to be big.  It might be:

• A food treat

• Taking a moment to congratulate yourself

• Doing an activity you enjoy

• Telling a supportive friend/family member about your success

• Posting about your success on a site you find support

• Making/buying a piece of jewelry

• Watching/Reading something you've been looking forward to or enjoy

 

Remember:

Reaching your goals, no matter how small, is AWESOME.  Be proud of yourself!

 

And, if you don't reach your goals, be gentle with yourself.  This is a long, hard process of recovery.  It takes time, and there WILL be slip ups and relapses.  The best thing you can do is keep returning over and over and over again to practicing healthier coping skills of all kinds.  The more varied your skills are, the more likely you will be able to get through the really hard moments that always put our coping skills to the test.  Hang in there.  :)

 

If you find yourself continually struggling and not reaching your goals, you might want to re-evaluate what you're asking of yourself (is it realistic right now?), examine the types of skills and supports you're providing for yourself (do you have enough resources and support for what you're trying to accomplish right now?), and review some of the articles about what to expect in self-harm recovery.